Symbols: ww: wrong word. g:
grammar. p: punctuation. :
remove word. s: spelling. f-ww.:
(in)formal word. wo: word order. :
add a word. wf: word form. *: possibly ok.
Ver también: Linkers
para una lista de palabras que te pueden ayudar en tus escritos.
In the summer of 1992, I went to work to Connecticut in the
USA. I was there for two months and when I was done with my
job, I travelled down the East Coast of the States. First,
I went to New York where I visited the Statue of Liberty and
walked the busy streets.
Then, I packed and took the Greyhound busses to continue
with the trip. First, they took me to Washington D.C. where
I stayed at my Spanish friend's place. She was also working
there for the summer. Then, we both took the bus to Miami,
but it broke down in the middle of the trip, so we had to wait
for the next bus to come. At midnight, the bus hadn’t shown
up yet, so we decided to stay in a hotel for the night.
Finally, the next day we took the bus and continued the trip
to Miami where we visited Disney World. We met Mickey Mouse,
Frankenstein and some other characters of the world of fantasy.
We had a very good time.
Victoria
Explanations:
A Trip
- This word is OK because it means something like a"journey,"
but be careful with it because it has a lot of very different
meanings and it might be a good idea to say a bit few more
words in order to put it in the proper context, i.e. "A
Trip I took."
"On
the summer of 1992 I went to work to Connecticut, in the USA."
vs. "In the summer of 1992, I went to work to Connecticut
in the USA." - There are a couple of points here: 1)
we use the preposition "in" to refer to seasons
such as "in the spring," "in the autumn"
and "in the winter," 2) we often place a comma after
an introductory time phrase like "at Christmas"
and "in the winter of 2006," and 3) it's not necessary
to use a comma after Connecticut and, in fact, it makes the
reader pause in an unnatural way.
"I
was there for two months and when I was done with my job
I travelled through
the eastcost
of the States." vs. "I was there for two months
and when I was done with my job,
I travelled down
the EastCoast
of the States." There are a couple of points here: 1)
Place a comma after the phrase beginning with "when:"
when I was done with my job,
when I finished up,
I travelled . . .
I went . . .
I drove . . .
I flew . . .
2) The East Coast of the United States is like a long line
that runs North and South, so we say we go "up"
or "down" the Coast. Generally, you go "through"
a three-dimensional space like a doorway, a city or a forest.
3) Directions on the compass are capitalized when the words
are accompanied by the actual places: East London, East Asia,
etc. RE: Capitalization
"First
I went to New York where I visited the Liberty
Statue and walked the busy streets."
vs. "First,
I went to New York where I visited the Statue
of Liberty and walked the busy streets. "
- There are a couple of errors here: 1) place a comma after
"first" at the beginning of the sentence and 2)
we say the "Statue of Liberty." Also, careful with
the phrase "walk the streets." You can probably
imagine what the other meaning might be. It's a good idea
to use a comma after sequencing words like "first"
at the beginning of your sentences:
First,
Then,
First,
Then,
At midnight, Finally,
I went to New York.
I packed and took the Greyhound busses to continue with
the trip.
they took me to Washington D.C.
we both took the bus to Miami.
the next day . . .
".
. . where I stayed at my Spanish friends
place." vs. ". . . where I stayed at my Spanish
friend's place."
- Don't forget the genitive apostrophe showing possession.
She was
also working there
for the summer. - I'm confused as to "where" is.
Is it in Connecticut or Washington D.C.?
".
. .we both took the bus to Miami
but it broke down in the middle of the trip so we had to wait
for the next bus to come." vs. ". . . we both took
the bus to Miami,
but it broke down in the middle of the trip so we had to wait
for the next bus to come." - Put a comma before "but"
in sentences like this one.
".
. . the bus hadn’t show
up yet so we decided to stay in a hotel for the night."
vs. ". . . the bus hadn’t shown
up yet so we decided to stay in a hotel for the night."
- There are two points here: 1) The correct form of the verb
with the past perfect is the past participle.
subject
I you he Steve
auxiliary
hadn't
past participle
done seen been gone
something . . .
somewhere . . .
2) you should use a comma before "so."
"the
fairy world" vs. "the world of fantasy" - Again,
the word "fairy" has a couple of radically different
meanings
which aren't particularly problematic in this text, but be
careful as it could lead you to say something funny to everyone
except for you. A native speaker would say something like
in "the world of fantasy."
Writing: Correction of texts.
:
remove word.
:
add a word. 
Text: If you like, try to correct the text
first. I've given you a few hints. See the key above. 
