Symbols: ww: wrong word. g:
grammar. p: punctuation. :
remove word. s: spelling. f-ww.:
(in)formal word. wo: word order. :
add a word. wf: word form. *: possibly ok.
Ver también: Linkers
para una lista de palabras que te pueden ayudar en tus escritos.
Hi, I'm Guillermo and I'm going to write about the main differences
between American and Spanish culture.
First of all, I would like to state that, in general terms,
we are very alike because of so many centuries of common western
culture. Because of this, there are many more common points
than differences between each other.
One of the more spotlighted differences is the American culture
of success. Many times, I've watched how cruel people can
be with losers on American TV series. They really humiliate
them ruthlessly, above all in the business environment. It
seems that there is a very simple social classification: winners
and losers.
This doesn’t happen in Spain, maybe because we are not so
obsessed with success. Unfortunately, the globalization processes
are changing Spanish culture and, as time goes by, this American
influence is establishing itself in Spain.
Another main difference is related to the concept of family.
In Spain, we feel much more bonded to our families and we
don’t mind admitting how much we depend on our closest relatives.
Asking our families for help is not a problem. On the other
hand, I think that in America, people have to pretend to be
self-sufficient in any situation. It doesn't matter whether
you can cope on your own or not.
In any case, we can learn a lot from each other.
Guillermo
Explanations:
"One
of the more
spotlighted difference
is the American success culture."
vs. "One of the most
spotlighted differences
is the American culture of
success." - There are a few points here:
1) Both "more" and "most" are ok in this
text, but I feel better about it with "most" because
success it so important in American culture. If you prefer
to be more prudent about your choice of words, "more"
is the safer of the two. 2) The pattern "one of the most/more
things" always has the plural "s." 3) Both
"success culture" and "culture of success"
are ok in this text, but I feel better about it with "culture
of success," which is more frequent.
"I
watched many times
on American TV series how cruel people can be with losers."
vs. "Many times,I've watched
how cruel people can be with losers on American TV series."
- There are a couple of points here: 1) If you use the past
simple, you communicate that what you did in the past has
little to do with the present. If you use the present perfect,
you communicate that the past does have something to do with
the present and that what has happened in the present is still
relevant. If I say, for example, that "I've broken
my leg," you might think that I can't walk very well
right now, but if I say that I "broke"
my leg, you won't really know whether I can walk right now
or not. 2) Your word order with "many times" is
typically Spanglish. Besides the fact that native speakers
will usually say "a lot" instead of "many,"
we'll usually also say it either at the end or the beginning
of the sentence. Apart from this, "how" usually
comes right behind the verb, though I can't say it's totally
wrong to put it in the word order that you put it in.
"The
really humiliate them rustlessly
above all in the bussines
atmophere." vs. "They
really humiliate them ruthlessly
above all in the business environment."
- There are a few points here: 1) I'm sure the first few words
are misspelled, 2) The last one is both misspelled and wrong;
the correct combination of words in this context is "business
environment."
".
. . this American influence is settling
down in Spain." vs. ". . . this
American influence is establishing
itself in Spain." - The phrase "settling
down" is frequently used to refer to people, not influence
or culture. The second phrase is much more frequently used
to refer to influence and culture. In any case, I can understand
your phrasal verb just fine.
"Another
main difference is related to the family
concept." vs. "Another main difference
is related to the concept of
family." The phrase "family concept"
seems to be common enough, but I feel a little leery (suspicious,
distrustful) of it. Perhaps I prefer the latter phrase because
of its higher frequency. In any case, there would seem to
be no difference in meaning between them.
"In
Spain we feel much
more bonded to our family
and we don’t care to
admit how much we depend on our closest relatives." vs.
"In Spain,
we feel much more bonded to our families
and we don’t mind admitting
how much we depend on our closest relatives." There are
a few points here: 1) I think it's best to place a comma after
"In Spain," though I don't think it's wrong to leave
it out. I think this is a "(RE:)
weak interruption comma." 2) How many families are
there in Spain? If there is just one family (a sort of "tribe?"),
use the singular "family." If there are multiple
familes, use the plural "families." 3) The phrase
"I don't care to" apparently has different meanings
in different parts of the Anglo-Saxon world. The important
point here is that for a lot of people "I don't care
to" means "I don't want to" (RE:
care to). It's perfectly clear what Groucho Marx wanted
to say in his famous joke "I don't care to belong to a club
that accepts people like me as members." (Reference)
As you know, humor is often based on the exploitation of double
meanings. The vocabulary word "mind," which means
"object to," is probably a better choice.
"It’s
not a problem to ask our families for help." vs. "Asking
our families for help is not a problem." I don't think
your word order is wrong. I think it's typically Spanglish
and I'm giving you another option here.
"On
the other hand, I think that in America, people have to pretend
to be self sufficient
in any situation , it
doesn´t matter wether
you can manage by yourself
or not." vs. "On the other hand, I think that in
America, people have to pretend to be self-sufficient
in any situation. It doesn't matter whether you can cope
on your own or not." There are a few
points here: 1) Though I've seen "self-sufficient"
without the hyphen
, I think it's best to use it with any compound word with
"self." 2) There are two complete sentences here.
This is a Spanglishy error. 3) The correct spelling is "whether."
("Whether" is used to talk about alternative possibilities.)
3) Both "manage"
and "cope"
are ok here, but "cope" emphasizes the difficulties
that one has to contend with. 4) "On your own"
is an idiom that emphasizes that one does something by one's
own efforts, while "by yourself" emphasizes the
idea of doing something "alone." In any case, your
choices could be ok.
"In
any case, we could
learn a lot from each others."
vs. "In any case, we can
learn a lot from each other."
There are a couple of points here: 1) Both "could"
and "can" are ok here, but I prefer "can"
because it's more positive. "Could" seems to make
an implied conditional out of this sentence. For example,
"we could learn a lot from each other if we weren't so
thick." 2) "Each other" is correct and yours
is probably a Spanglish error.
Writing: Correction of texts.
:
remove word.
:
add a word. 
Text: If you like, try to correct the text
first. I've given you a few hints. See the key above. 
