Ver también: Linkers
para una lista de palabras que te pueden ayudar en tus escritos.
I
like / don't like motorcycles ...
Text 1:
If you like, try to correct the text first. I've given you a
few hints. See the key above.
Motorcycles Activity Sponsored by
Custom
Planet, a Harley Davidson
shop in Madrid, Spain, imports second-hand Harley motorcycles
from the USA and sells them all over Spain. Google
Maps.
@dvertisement
Explanations:
Motorbikes:
I like motorcycles very much. When I was twelve years old
(1) my parents bought me my first motorcycle.
Since then (2) I (3) drive
(4)
motorcycle because there are a lot of advantages for me. I
work outside Madrid and go to the office (5)
in motorcycle.
It takes me 20 minutes to get (6) .
If I go to the office (7) in
car, I take 40 minutes (8) more
each time. In addition, I am saving a lot of money (9) per
month.
However, I recognize the risk of accidents from (10)
driving
motorbikes. I (11)
had two minor accidents and I hope (12)
don’t have more.
In short, I advise the use of motorcycle (13) with caution.
Eduardo
1. - "When I was twelve years old,
my parents . . ." - Use a comma to separate the two clauses
in an "if" or "when" sentence when the
sentence begins with either word, but NOT when these words
are in the middle. (I.e. "We go to bed when
we start to fall asleep" and/or "We go to bed if
we start to fall asleep.")
2. "Since then, I . . ." - Put a comma after all
the linkers showing chronological order that you use at the
beginning of a sentence: "after that," "then,"
"after something," etc.
3. We "ride"
a motorcycle, bike and horse. We drive a car, bus, etc.
4. Use the article "a"
before a singular "vehicle" and no article before
a plural word.
5. We go to the office "by"
motorcycle, or "on
a" motorcycle if you prefer (not "in"
it).
6. The reader expects you to "get
somewhere". Usually, you need an object,
adjective, adverb, particle or some type of word after "get."
7. Again, we go to the office "by"
car, or "in a"
car if you prefer.
8. This is a Spanglish problem. Often, the translation for
"más"
is "more,"
however, when talking about "time," use the word
"long,"
or in this case "longer."
"Long" means "más" when the context
is time.
9. Use the word "every"
instead of "per." Use "per" to talk about
frequency, i.e. "I do something once per
month."
10. Again, we "ride"
a motorcycle, bike and horse. We drive a car, bus, etc.
11. "I have
had two minor accidents . . ." - In this context the
correct grammar to use is the present perfect which communicates
that though you had two minor accidents in the past, you can
possibly have more accidents in the present or future. The
usage of the past simple in this context communicates that
perhaps you don't ride motorcyles any longer, which is contradicted
by the next part of the sentence (in number 12).
12. ". . . and I hope I
don’t have more." - This is a Spanglish error because
in Spanish you say "espero no tener más."
Phrases like "I hope" and "I think" are
usually followed by a complete sentence with a subject and
a verb.
By the way, native speakers will usually say "I hope
I don't have any
more." This is similar to "I hope I have no more."
13. "I advise the use of motorcycles
with caution." - When speaking of motorcycles in general,
don't use an article, but use the plural.
Motorbikes: I like motorcycles
very much. When I was twelve years old, my parents bought
me my first motorcycle. Since then, I ride a motorcycle because
there are a lot of advantages for me. I work outside Madrid
and go to the office by motorcycle. It takes me 20 minutes
to get there. If I go to the office by car, I take 40 minutes
longer each time. In addition, I am saving a lot of money
every month.
However, I recognize the risk of accidents from riding motorbikes.
I have had two minor accidents and I hope I don’t have more.
In short, I advise the use of motorcycles with caution.
I don’t like motorcycles for two main reasons. First, what
bothers me the most is the noise they make. If they weren’t
so noisy, I probably wouldn’t mind having them around.
Second, I think that they are very dangerous. The body is
completely unprotected against any crash. Motorcycle accidents
are very common and the chances of dying in one of them are
very high. In fact, motorcycle riders are called organ donors
in The States since it is mostly young people who die in these
crashes.
On the other hand, I guess that riding a motorcycle probably
provides a great sense of freedom mostly in mountain roads.
Nevertheless, when I am in the country, what I expect are
sounds which are quite different from those that come from
an exhaust pipe.
Victoria G.
Explanations:
"what
it bothers
me" - You have two subjects in this phrase/clause. Both
"what" and "it" refer to "a thing."
Probably
If they weren’t so noisy, I probably wouldn’t mind having
them around. Either place a comma after probably or change
the word order.
If they
weren’t so noisy, I probably wouldn’t mind to
have having them around. After "mind"
use a gerund or "verb" plus "-ing."
The
motorcycles - When speaking about motorcycle accidents in
general and not some specific motorcycle accidents that we
both know about (perhaps because you mentioned them earlier
in the text), don't use the article "the." For example,
"I like carrots in general" or "I like the
carrots in this soup." In this case, "the"
is similar to "these" because it points at some
specific carrots.
Motorcycles
Motorcycles accidents - I imagine this is a Spanglish error.
I think you say "accidentes de motocicletas" in
Spanish. Adjectives are plural in Spanish and you also say
"coches azules." In English, the adjective is always
singular.
the
chances to die "the chances of dying"
- This is a verb pattern that you must memorize. After "the
chances" use "of," and after "of,"
which is a preposition, use this structure: "verb + -ing."
(After prepositions we generally use this structure.)
"The
chances of dying in one of them are
very high." You need a verb in this phrase/sentence.
liberty
freedom - Both are very similar, however, freedom combines
with the context better. According to freedictionary.com:
"Freedom is the most general term" and "Liberty
stresses the power of free choice."
By the
way, "provides" in this section "provides a
great sense of freedom" doesn't sound quite right. Maybe,
"gives you a great" would be better.
"freedom
, mostly
in mountain roads" - Delete the comma here as it adds
nothing to your text. If you do mean something by it, I don't
understand the reason what.
"...
when I am in the country, those ..." what I expect are
sounds which are
quite different fromThis text is a little confusing without
the relative clause "which." Compare, for example,
with "Metallica sounds quite different from George Michael."
"from
an exhaust pipe"
- The main problem here is that exhaust doesn't produce sounds,
but exhaust pipes do.
Writing: Correction of texts.
:
remove word.
:
add a word. 
Text 1:
If you like, try to correct the text first. I've given you a
few hints. See the key above. 
